The Gift that Keeps Giving - IWSG December 2025

 

Welcome to IWSG Day. The goal of this blog hop is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a haven for insecure writers of all kinds. IWSG is the brainchild of our ninja leader Alex Cavanaugh. 

I am delighted to co-host IWSG this month with Ronel Janse van Vuuren, Pat Garcia, Tara Tyler, and Natalie Aguirre! For links to all contributors, click here.

December’s optional question - As a writer, what was one of the coolest/best gifts you ever received?

Not all gifts are material, and the one for which I feel most grateful is the gift of awareness.

It began when I started this blog and challenged myself to write a post five days a week. That could have become boring, or at the very least a struggle, so in trying to furnish myself with subject matter I spent a lot of time walking with a camera, noticing things I’d never had time to appreciate before. Pretty soon I had images—storm clouds reflecting off a still harbor, herons and egrets stick-walking through the marsh grass, lobster boats laboring in with their catch. After a while, it didn't matter if I took a photo. I learned that winter sunsets are stunning, but it's the subtle color that displays in the east just as the sun goes down that touches the soul. I drank in views of the city across the bay from a park I’d never walked before, visited secret gardens and strolled a World War II munitions depot the state turned into walking paths. I discovered a lighthouse on a spit of land where, if timed right, it's possible to watch the sunrise and turn around and to watch the moon set in the same minute. My walks took me through museums, graveyards, antique stores and old homesteads. Each of these things delivered a sense of uniqueness and wonder as well as a profound feeling of good fortune for the beauty and history that surrounds me.

The habit of noticing stays strong in me. Even now as I walk the same route most mornings, things are  different than the day before. Beauty is ever changing, ever evolving. How lucky am I that awareness arrived with a two-for-one bonus gift of ongoing appreciation.

As a writer, what has been your favorite gift?

AWOL - IWSG November 2025

Welcome to IWSG Day. The goal of this blog hop is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a haven for insecure writers of all kinds. IWSG is the brainchild of our ninja leader Alex Cavanaugh. Thank you to November  cohosts, Jennifer Lane, Jenni Enzor, Renee Scattergood, Rebecca Douglass, Lynn Bradshaw, and Melissa Maygrove. For links to all contributors, click here.

November’s optional question - When you began writing, what did you imagine your life as a writer would be like? Were you right, or has this experience presented you with some surprises along the way?

I knew I’d be away and unavailable when the email announcing this month’s IWSG post arrived. I pre-wrote my post, unaware of the optional question. Happily, I came close enough!

Sixteen years ago when I created Middle Passages, I was besotted. Every word I wrote felt as rewarding as that electrifying, innocent joy of first love. But as we all know, dazzling first loves don’t always remain for the long haul. It’s like that with writing too. Many submissions and rejections followed those initial earnest blog posts, which taught me that real writing takes hard work, patience and time. I get it, but I’d be a liar to say I don’t miss that period when everything was fresh and exhilarating.

These days, writing feels more like living with a trusted partner. We know we belong together and have enough confidence in our relationship that sometimes we do things apart.

Occasionally though we experience a lapse in communication, which happened this past April when my writing brain forgot to tell me it planned to take off to parts unknown the same day I retired. I trust it to return, but patience is key. While it's been away, I've been reading, walking a couple of miles a day, taking yoga and Zumba classes and learning Mahjong. I want to tell you my days are full, but they aren't, really. I have plenty of time to write, but zero inspiration. So, to keep myself going, I’ve been playing around with my old blog posts, cutting and pasting them into a Word document, then editing the heck out of them. 

You know how when you love your own words, your proofreading eyes fail to find mistakes? Now I see them all. Mostly though, I find ways to tighten the essays to make them more compelling. It's fun. Re-reading the early-writing me feels like visiting with an old friend I haven’t seen in years. It's a little like receiving postcards from afar. It helps me stay in touch with my imagination while it's off galivanting.

What do you do when inspiration takes a holiday?

Choosing My Children - IWSG October 2025

 

Welcome to IWSG Day. The goal of this blog hop is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a haven for insecure writers of all kinds. IWSG is the brainchild of our ninja leader Alex Cavanaugh. Thank you to October  cohosts, Beth Camp, Crystal Collier, and Cathrina Constantine! For links to all contributors, click here.

This month’s optional question: What is the favorite thing you’ve written, published or not? And why?

I wonder if asking this question of a writer is similar to asking a parent to identify their favorite child. They’re all my favorites! But if I had to choose, would it be the poem I wrote in high school that my English teacher submitted to the literary magazine without telling me? The one that when my friend congratulated me, I said, “Huh?”

Or would it be the piece I wrote off the top of my head before work one day and submitted to an online writing magazine before thinking about it? A few weeks later an editor called telling me I’d won $500 for my essay and I'd almost forgotten writing it.

Perhaps my favorite is the first piece I had published in an actual print magazine about living through the stages of life as an older mother of an only child. The essay was called “Middle Passages” and yes, it inspired the name for this blog. That particular essay put the bug in my head about beginning a regular writing practice.

But how can I forget the pieces I wrote for local magazines when I was freelancing? I had a blast writing them. Well, mostly. I was assigned a feature highlighting the best restaurants in which to dine on oysters. At the time I didn’t eat them, and every chef I talked to wanted me to sample their dishes. Gulp. (Now, I love them fried!) Then there’s the story I wrote about a neighbor’s yard, three acres filled with gardens, cairns, a labyrinth plus a three-tiered tree house. He was so delighted with the piece he had the photographer who took the accompanying pictures come back and take more after which this neighbor made them up into his own book. My copy has pride of place on my book shelf.

Another time I wrote an article about an encaustic artist, who painted with wax. Not only was I clueless about the medium prior to interviewing the artist, but my GPS was clueless too. It kept trying to send me north of the city when I needed to go south. But during the ensuing stop-and-start trip, I dead-ended at a pier on a river I’d noticed for years while speeding by on the highway. I’d always wanted to find it. Check that off the bucket list.

Of course I can’t leave out the four unpublished books I have under my belt which have taken years upon years of effort. I do, actually, have a favorite there, but I’m not confessing. I wouldn’t want the others to feel bad, especially the one I am currently querying.

In the end, they're all my children and there’s no way I can  choose. After all, there are sixteen years of essays I’ve published here at Middle Passages. Let's just say if I had to rank them, my “Church of the Jetty” posts would land close to the top because I cherish the memory of visiting our harbor breakwater with my husband on summer Sunday mornings. I miss it still.

But then there are my "Festival on the Common" posts. They're pretty good too...

https://middlepassages-lcs.blogspot.com/2009/03/practice.html

https://middlepassages-lcs.blogspot.com/2012/07/summer-blessings.html

https://middlepassages-lcs.blogspot.com/2013/08/church-of-jetty-take-three.html

https://middlepassages-lcs.blogspot.com/2014/07/church-of-jetty-2014.html

https://middlepassages-lcs.blogspot.com/2015/08/church-of-jetty-2015.html

How about "BI" instead? IWSG September 2025

Welcome to IWSG Day. The goal of this blog hop is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a haven for insecure writers of all kinds. IWSG is the brainchild of our ninja leader Alex Cavanaugh. Thank you to September co-hosts:  Kim Lajevardi, Natalie Aguirre, Nancy Gideon, and Diedre Knight. For a list and links to all contributors, click here.

September 3 question - What are your thoughts on using AI, such as GPChat, Raptor, and others with your writing? Would you use it for research, story bible, or creating outlines\beats?

I’ve never used AI to produce any of my actual writing and I’ve been annoyed by and ignoring Microsoft Word’s “Copilot,” each time I open a new document and it proposes topics for which it can create a draft for me. Given today’s question though, for the first time ever, I clicked on one, which was an offer to provide "a witty blog post about a sailing trip." Insert raised eyebrows here. Does my computer know I used to sail with my husband? Is it aware that I write these once-a-month blog posts?  

The old eyes widened when I read the completed blog post the computer provided to me. Cliche though it may be, my hackles rose. The last time I read something fictional I knew was AI generated, it involved clunky surface writing lacking in emotion, so the wry, amusing post created by Word's AI interface scared the you-know-what out of me. It had enough personality that I could easily believe it was generated by a human. The thought made me feel a little sick. As AI becomes more “proficient,” how are we EVER going to know the difference between what’s human created verses computer generated?

Are there ways in which AI might be helpful? Sure, I guess. When I started this document, one of the options Copilot suggested it could create for me was a low-budget, three-day trip plan for Paris. If I needed to design a trip for a character (or for me!), typically I'd search using Google to learn about landmarks. Newer AI offerings may deliver more detail and speed, but research is research, whether your using an Encyclopedia Britannica (which was on my bookshelf growing up), or ChatGPT. HOW we use that research in our writing is what matters.

That Copilot-generated blog post crossed a line for me. I've mostly buried my head in the sand as it pertains to AI, but that post woke me up because it showed me how easy it could be to cheat. How many people do? Apparently enough. As I was writing this, I realized that every agency I've queried over the last two months has asked me to answer an AI disclaimer. Oh man! 

So yes, for this month's IWSG I researched using Copilot. But it took several hours of writing to clarify my thoughts on the month’s topic. This post contains the results, and every idea, experience and feeling  arrived via MY brain. 

Here it's all about the humanity. I'm going to call that "Biological Intelligence."

 

 

 

Sneaky Minds - IWSG August 2025

 

Welcome to IWSG Day. The goal of this blog hop is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a haven for insecure writers of all kinds. IWSG is the brainchild of our ninja leader Alex Cavanaugh. Thank you to August co-hosts: Ronel Janse van Vuuren, Natalie Aguirre, Sarah - The Faux Fountain Pen, and Olga Godim! To read other contributors, click For a list and links to all contributors, click here.

I’m not experienced enough to have an opinion on this month’s question about the publishing industry, so today, you get just—me— surprising myself.

I think I mentioned here that after writing four (frustratingly unpublished) novels, so far, nothing has inspired me enough to consider spending years devoted to a fifth.

This wasn’t so scary in April when I retired, because I still had to make edits to my fourth manuscript. In late June, I started querying it.

Oye. Such an exercise in hair pulling. Current count, nine submissions, two rejections, many, many, many more to go and well, each time I'm working on a query it kind of feels like when I worked for a living, except for the lack of constant interruption, and, yeah, well, I’m not getting paid. For sure, querying isn’t creative.

But the human mind is a sneaky thing, and in between queries, mine has been goading me.

“What? You’re not writing anything new? Well, then here. Let’s throw you a storm. Let’s make your fireplace leak and your little boat almost sink. Now, write a poem about it.”

“Um, okay?”

“Boring laps in the pool followed by walks on the beach. That’s good for another poem.

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yes. And by the way, repainting your bedroom from Sherwood green to Chamois white? There’s definitely a poem in that.”

“You think?”

“Yup.”

“Huh!”

“When you’re done, how about a poem about hummingbirds?”

“Aha. Gotcha. I already wrote that one.”

“Then what are you waiting for? Pull that sucker up on your laptop and give it an overhaul!”

And so it goes. I even wrote a poem inspired by an old poem I found on my hard drive. So while fiction has been non-existent over the last few months, unsolicited poems have muscled their way in. I get lost in them, spending as much time as it takes me to send out a query (and more!) tweaking one single line.

How do you make yourself move forward when writing is a struggle?

Not Work at All - IWSG July 2025

 

Welcome to IWSG Day. The goal of this blog hop is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a haven for insecure writers of all kinds. IWSG is the brainchild of our ninja leader Alex Cavanaugh. Thank you to July co-hosts:  Rebecca Douglass, Natalie Aguirre, Cathrina Constantine, and Louise Barbour. For a list and links to all contributors, click here.

Optional July question: Is there a genre you haven't tried writing in yet that you really want to try? If so, do you plan on trying it?

I don’t entertain significant thoughts about writing in a different genre. Occasionally I ponder taking blog posts from when I was writing regularly about life around me and combining them with my pictures to make my own little book, but pondering is as far as I get.

Speaking of the world around me, though, I’m finding it a new place post-retirement. For the past few weeks, I’ve woken up sans alarm, pondered life for a while and then popped out of bed to head to the (summer only) town pool. Adult lap swim is from 7:00 to 8:00 am. Given that my alarm used to go off at 5:30, it’s no hardship for me to yank on a suit and drive five minutes to dive in. I grew up swimming but haven’t had a chance to do so in forever. It feels like going back in time. After the laps, I head right to the beach, where I set a timer and walk for at least a half an hour. By the time I get home, there’s breakfast to eat, coffee to drink, planters to water, and as I write this post, queries to send.

Yep, the foot-dragger gave herself a deadline and finally started querying. The process is as hard as it’s always been, but now I have time to focus on the chore. In the past, I created my own query tracking sheets but this time I’m using Query Tracker. For $25 for the year, I gain full access to a database to identify agents and their preferred genres/wish lists, assess response rates, and to track submissions and replies. Before querying, I can see how active an agent is and can read comments from other writers in regard to their experiences with a particular individual. Query Tracker also offer tutorials on how to get the best out of the database, links to articles of interest, some of which have reinforced what I think I know, and others that have taught me things.

My plan is to send out a handful of queries over the next few weeks and then wait for a bit before assessing where I stand. It’s summer. Fourth of July is coming up. The world will be going on vacation. Inboxes will fill up. I get all that. But now that I have all the time, there is no excuse not to be diligent with this process. Perhaps putting that in print here will hold me accountable.

And there’s some good news. Even though querying is a challenge, I’ve rediscovered something. When you can sit down and focus on work you actually want to do, it doesn’t really feel like work at all.

Have you used Query Tracker? What has your experience been like?

And because I can... a photo. The beach at 8:15 am, on a recent walk

Always a Good Read - IWSG June 2025

 

Welcome to IWSG Day. The goal of this blog hop is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a haven for insecure writers of all kinds. IWSG is the brainchild of our ninja leader Alex Cavanaugh. Thank you to June co-hosts: PJ Colando, Pat Garcia, Kim Lajevardi, Melisa Maygrove, and Jean Davis. For a list and links to all contributors, click here.

Optional question for June - What were some books that impacted you as a child or young adult?

Last fall, my local library started a new book group. While working, I could never make the existing morning group, but this one met after hours, so I signed up. The focus was “gentle” reads and while the selected books varied in their “gentleness,” they were all stories I may have never encountered, except for one.  

Don’t laugh, but the choice for May was Anne of Green Gables. Readers of this blog may not be surprised that this story remains one of my all-time favorites. I’ve probably read it twenty times since eighth grade.

But while "Anne with an E" is so well known, folks may not know that the author, Lucy Montgomery, wrote seven sequels to Anne. Early in our marriage, my dear husband did some research and bought me the eight-book series as a Christmas present. I’ve purged a lot off my shelves, but those books will never go. Every several years I start the first book and I have to plan accordingly because nothing can stop me from binging on the rest. 

For those of you who don’t know, Anne of Green Gables is about a lonely orphan from Nova Scotia who uses her imagination to help her through the toils of her early life. She mistakenly lands with Matthew and Marilla, an elderly brother and sister who think they’re adopting a boy to help on their farm. Ultimately, they decide to keep her. Anne’s imagination gets her into a lot of trouble, but through her antics, she stimulates humanity in the stern couple, both of whom learn to love her as much as she ends up loving them. All sweet, all endearing, and the bonus is stunning description that makes me yearn to get to Prince Edward Island. It’s definitely a gentle read.

But Anne of Green Gables for an adult book group? Well. I guess? I mean, I was happy enough to read it again, but what about the other twenty  group members?

So there I was in our last meeting, defending Anne as other readers projected today’s diagnoses on her. “She must have had ADD,” one person said. "She definitely needed counseling," said another. Ugh, I thought. She’s fiction. How can you label a character from the late 1800’s with today’s manifestations?  In my opinion, she's just how she was written, adorable, trouble-prone, creative, imaginative Anne. But regardless of my thoughts, there was some hearty discussion and it ended like this. After each meeting, we score the book from one to five, with five being the best. The members of the book group are mixed in age and gender. Everyone with the exception of one person scored it five. It was by far the highest and most consistent rating of any book we read.

And, in case you are wondering, yes, I kept reading. (I can do this now! I’m retired!) I rocketed through the eight books this time, and was particularly touched by the last book, the story of Anne’s youngest daughter, a spoiled, happy-go-lucky teenager who matures during the painful years of WWI. I tell you. Anne of Green Gables and its sequels stand the test of time.

Spoiler alert. After our early May gathering, the librarian who ran the Gentle Reads Book Group retired with no replacement. Anne ended up being our last book.

What book from your past do you re-read?

Managing - IWSG May 2025

 

Welcome to IWSG Day. The goal of this blog hop is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a haven for insecure writers of all kinds. IWSG is the brainchild of our ninja leader Alex Cavanaugh. Thank you to May co-hosts:  Feather Stone, Janet Alcorn, Rebecca Douglass, Jemima Pett, and Pat Garcia!  For a list and links to all contributors, click here.

This month’s optional question: Some common fears writers share are rejection, failure, success, and lack of talent or ability. What are your greatest fears as a writer? How do you manage them?

My fears? Easy peasy. All of the above. How do I manage them? Well, that question provides some muddy grounds for introspection…

Remember how Dorie from Finding Nemo use to say “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming?”

That’s me, I guess. A long time ago an acquaintance, a published author of fiction and non-fiction, said to me, “As long as you never give up, you’ll get there.”

I keep that advice front and forward, but sometimes a little voice inside me suggests it’s time to call the game on account of darkness. It’s time to hang up my typing fingers as it were. But then I think of the hours I’ve put in, and more importantly, of how much joy the writing has brought. It would be awful to let it all come to nothing. Besides, if I let myself drift away from my writing, I have zero doubt that eventually it will call me back. It’s a kind of addiction. The craving to write always lurks.

At the current time I’m probably in a writing lull, but it’s OK. Fulfilling a promise to myself, upon retirement I started working on the lessons from Walking in this World, by Julia Cameron. That means as soon as I wake up, I’m writing “Morning Pages,” three pages longhand. It’s a brain dump. Letting whatever is on my mind out. It’s not writing that will ever be published, but it’s writing. So if on a given day, I miss sitting down to work on something that’s theoretically publishable, at least I’ve written something. I’ve kept the neurons firing.

Sometimes I post things on IWSG to hold myself accountable. So here’s a confession. I have (very) slowly begun a list to where I want to query my current novel. It’s slow because Julia Cameron requires that I walk. I’m also having fun working in the garden and getting things done at my own pace. It's beyond marvelous not to have to cram all the “to do’s” into one weekend. Quite frankly, I plan to  luxuriate in it for a bit.

But in spite of how much I’m enjoying myself, let’s be truthful here. You would be correct to call these lovely distractions procrastination. File them under “Fear of failure.”

What are your writing fears and how do you address them?

Endings and Beginnings - IWSG April 2025

 

Welcome to IWSG Day. The goal of this blog hop is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a haven for insecure writers of all kinds. IWSG is the brainchild of our ninja leader Alex Cavanaugh. Thank you to April co-hosts: Jennifer Lane, L Diane Wolfe, Jenni Enzor, and Natalie Aguirre. For links to all contributors, click here.

This month’s optional question: What fantasy character would you like to fight, go on a quest with, or have a beer/glass of wine with?

I’m not big into fantasy so this question isn’t my bailiwick, but a butter beer with Hermione Granger might be kind of fun.

So, writing related. No. Sorry. Life related. 

This week marks a new era for me. 

I started this blog to deal with the emotional fallout related to unexpected job elimination from a long-term employer. Middle Passages led to some freelance writing and one of my freelance jobs resulted in an offer of a position for my town council on aging. When I accepted it I promised myself I’d keep writing, no matter what. I’m proud to have done that, getting up at 5:30 in the morning, five days a week to spend an hour writing before work. But on Friday April 4, I’ll be turning my alarm off permanently. At noon that day, I’ll be officially retired.

I let out a long breath as I typed that last sentence.

Being used to so much structure in my life, I’m not sure what shape unlimited free time will take, but I hope I’ll buckle down and focus on getting one of my darn books published. Over the last year while working on a revision for book #4 as well as one for book #2, I stopped doing anything query related. It left me disheartened and it was hard to write and query while working and keeping up a home, pretty-much singlehandedly.  

I’m honest enough to recognize that other people find a way to do it all. I however, have not.

That says something, and I know it. With all the time in the world, I wonder if I’ll call my own bluff and dedicate my energy toward publication. If anything, I’d love to shut off that nasty voice in my brain that says, “It’s not that you didn’t make time. You’re just not good enough.”

In the meantime, I do have one plan for early retirement. Fifteen years ago I worked through the lessons in The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron, which I’ve referred to so many times here in Middle Passages. Between morning pages, artist’s dates and the weekly lessons, I determined my future course. Without The Artist’s Way, I’m pretty sure my four novels would never have been written.  

The book sits on my bookshelf with other treasured reading. After a vacation down south to clear my head, I plan to open it up again.

 

The Half Full Glass - IWSG March 2025

 

Welcome to IWSG Day. The goal of this blog hop is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a haven for insecure writers of all kinds. IWSG is the brainchild of our ninja leader Alex Cavanaugh. The March co-hosts are Ronel Janse Van Vuuren, Pat Garcia, and  ME! For links to all contributors, click here.

This month’s optional question: If for one day you could be anyone or "thing" in the world, what would it be? Describe, tell why, and any themes, goals, or values they/it inspire in you.

This is a pretty creative question and since I don’t often get particularly introspective, I’m finding my answer hard to articulate, but here goes.

If I could be one “thing,” it would be the particular feeling I get in my heart during certain experiences. Without being cliché, although I suppose I am, it’s what I feel after waking on a February morning to see pink clouds behind skeleton trees and realizing the sun is coming up earlier. It’s the joy of discovery when I find the first Snow Drop in my early March garden. It’s the sound of seagulls as they soar over tidal mudflats. It’s the belly laugh I get from my adult daughter when, once again, one of us says what the other is thinking. (“Get out of my brain!” we yell at each other!) It’s the sad-joy I experience when I see a fleeting glimpse of my dear late husband in the gait of his brother who lives next door. It’s the kindness of the volunteers with whom I interact, who use their own time to drive senior citizens to medical appointments, prepare hot meals and deliver food to the homebound in my town. I could go on and on, but I suppose the feeling I’m trying to describe is gratitude for all the gifts I receive and witness on a daily basis. But it goes beyond gratitude. It’s the continued feeling of unexpectedness to these things and an all-encompassing delight that they are a part of my life. The newness never goes away.

I’m aware as a general rule I’m pretty naïve, but humor me here. There are so very many people in the world experiencing challenges beyond anything I can imagine. If I could, I’d infuse my feeling into every being across the world,  so that everyone could experience positivity even when things look beyond bleak. 

If you could be any one or thing, what would you choose?

Back to the Future - IWSG February 2025

 

 Welcome to IWSG Day. The goal of this blog hop is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a haven for insecure writers of all kinds. IWSG is the brainchild of our ninja leader Alex Cavanaugh. Co-hosts for February are Joylene Nowell Butler, Louise Barbour, and Tyrean Martinson. For links to all contributors, click here.

February optional question - Is there a story or book you've written you want to/wish you could go back and change?

Funny you should ask. The first book I ever tried to write was such a disaster I put it away, took a couple of writing classes, and moved on to other things. When I thought of that first attempt at all it was only to consider how not being able to write it propelled me forward.

But over a year ago, I found myself at a low point. I had no interest in starting anything new but wanted to keep writing. Rifling through a drawer, I discovered a printout of that first muddle. Sorry to say, it was even worse than I remembered. But the timing was good. Pulling that mess together would certainly involve a challenge.

Today, what was once a wreck of a novel is now a solid piece of work I like. The red-ink comments of a trusted reader are sitting beside my computer. She suggested I rewrite one scene to make the stakes higher, but I'm happy to say that other than that, her feedback was positive, her changes few.

Honestly, I thought this book was a lost cause. Even now I’m surprised I had the nerve to dive into it again. So in answer to this month's question, I can’t say I “wished” to return to this particular story, but I’m delighted I proved to myself that I could.

Do you have stories you wished you could go back and change?

A Tribute - IWSG January 2025

 Welcome to IWSG Day. The goal of this blog hop is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a haven for insecure writers of all kinds. IWSG is the brainchild of Alex Cavanaugh. Co-hosts for the January 8 posting of the IWSG are Rebecca Douglass, Beth Camp,  Natalie @ Literary Rambles  and me! For links to all contributors, click here.

This month’s optional question: Describe someone you admired when you were a child. Did your opinion of that person change when you grew up?

The summer I turned sixteen, I spent two months living with my best friend who’d moved one state over when her father purchased a country inn. Looking back on it, I think she was having trouble settling and  her parents imported me to help with that. Whatever. We missed each other like crazy and the plan was we'd both waitress in the inn dining room while having the summer together.

Starting my first paying job in a town where I knew no one but my friend was a bold step for shy me. After my first breakfast shift answering to a barking cook who had zero patience for a scared teenager, I climbed the stairs ready to flop on my bed for a good cry. But in the hall in front of my room, which happened to be next to the laundry area, I encountered a freckle-faced woman holding a bundle of sheets. Her face broke out into a welcoming smile and she greeted me by name, as if she'd been waiting to meet me. I have no idea if she recognized how miserable I was, but if someone asked me to describe an experience representing kindness, it would be that moment.

Kitty was a sort of Jill-of-all-trades around the inn and meeting her was the first thing that gave me comfort during those early awkward days away from home. Every time I saw her she offered me that same brilliant smile. Ultimately and regardless of a fifteen-year age difference, the two of us became friends.

I spent two summers working at the inn and afterwards became a prolific letter writer to folks I met there. Even then I expressed myself better in writing, and foremost and especially, I wrote to Kitty. She rarely wrote back but called on the phone and reached out to me when she was in my area. She invited me to her home on many occasions where we picked blueberries and blackberries in her yard. She and a friend traveled to see me when I was in college in Vermont, and after I graduated, she visited when I worked my last “summer job” on Martha’s Vineyard. We went to lunch when she’d come for appointments while I was employed in the city, and I remember being tickled when she commented about how grown up and professional I looked. The day after Christmas one year, I brought the man who ultimately became my husband up to meet her. Years later, after training as a nurse, she quizzed me when my young daughter and I visited her and she learned I’d had serious  surgery.

And then, as it is wont to do, life happened. A full-time working Mom, I crammed my daughter’s activities, home management, and family demands into the precious little free time I had. Letter-writing (or emailing at that point) landed lower on the priority scale and my regular communication with Kitty petered out. But always, I made sure to write a detailed Christmas letter, and most years, I got a long one back. Though I hadn’t spoken to her for longer than I care to remember, there’s Facebook, and when she discovered I’d lost my husband she called, telling me how even though we’d reached the ages we had, she’d always consider me her “little friend.”

I keep the silver bracelet she gave me for my seventeenth birthday in my jewelry box. I carefully hand wash the one wine glass remaining from a picnic set she sent as a wedding present, thinking of my dear friend every time I use it. These days, I’ve whittled what used to be an extensive Christmas card list down to three, but as always, the first one I wrote this year was to Kitty.

It’s been fifty years since that first summer I encountered her in the hallway, but even now, I think of her smile when I greet people, trying to replicate it with a warmth that starts in my eyes. I know I wore it on my face when I checked my mailbox last week and found her Christmas card inside.

Who had an impact on your life growing up?