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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Up to my Ankles Now

Sometimes the answer is simple.  The way to get over not writing is to write.  And so you get this.  I’m sitting at one of my desks— yes, I have two but it’s too complicated to explain why.  Anyway, I’m listening to the hawk in the next-door neighbor’s tree screech through my open window, hoping he hasn’t nested there since he woke me up at 5:30 this morning.  He hasn’t stopped yacking since.  

Outside in the garden, the last of the daylilies are blooming.  When I realized this earlier, my stomach lurched a little.  By the end of July, those orange trumpeters pass, leaving spent blossoms that hang like empty-fingered gloves from browning stalks.  Soon the gifts of August arrive— the blazing blue skies and cool nights, my sister’s visit from Australia, our daughter’s eighteenth birthday.  But August also brings this.  One month from today, we pack up our girl and deliver her to a dorm room a couple of hours away.  For the last two-plus years, I’ve been working hard at rebuilding a life, knowing the whole time that it was an interim thing.  The real rebuilding starts on August 27. 

Ah, the empty nest.  Folks get through it all the time and I will too.   Today though, I’m putting that thought on the back-burner.   Rather than moan about the wrinkled lily blossoms, I’ll focus my gaze on the purple balloon flowers multiplying in the back garden.  I’ll stay out of the dining room, where boxes of college supplies have begun to accumulate, and create something yummy in the kitchen with the berries I picked over the weekend instead.

Denial isn’t hard.  Focusing on the good makes it easy to disregard that which you choose to avoid.  Except for the nail-on-chalkboard shriek of that hawk.  He’s impossible to ignore.


12 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I think you'll both be all right!

EmptyNester said...

We now have one that moved 20 hours away--to TEXAS--for grad school. I hate it. I know there are folks out there who love it when their kids all move out. I am not one of those. Survive? Yes. Enjoy it? Not so much. I think I just had too much fun raising the lovelies!

But yes, you will survive! And you have your wonderful writing to take your focus away from time to time!

GigglesandGuns said...

You'll do fine. Maybe better than fine if the hawk lets you sleep ;)
will have to find balloon flowers.

Wine and Words said...

What a vibrant photo. So true. So true. Denial isn't hard. It just shifting the inevitable to a later date on the calendar...like a flakey friend. But yes, everyone does get through it, one way or another.

(hugs)

Catherine A. Winn said...

It will all work out just hunky dory dandy! She'll have the best time and you'll make it to summer. Then do it all again next year :)

Yvonne Osborne said...

I love those purple flowers. You're right about the need to focus. It's the only way I can weed the garden, by focusing on one row at a time. If I stand and stare at the whole acre, I would drop the hoe. My kids are long gone, and you'll get used to that too. I remember the thrill of going off to college. It's always more fun to be the one leaving.

Stephen Tremp said...

I'm confident things will work out as they often have a way of doing. I'm sending big thoughts your way right now! And great image. I feel better already just looking at it.

Helen Ginger said...

As someone who has sent a child off to college many states away, I say do not deny. Embrace it. Join in her joy at going to college, at flying out of the nest. Plan fun trips with her to get supplies. Help her pack - use it as a time to talk and connect. A time to secretly watch her, memorize her, love her.

missing moments said...

Liza, I also have two desks ... so I understand. But for me, becoming an empty nester was wonderful! I raised 4 children since the age of 19 and seems like it has taken forever to return to focusing on me! I love these years now. Next year I turn 60 and I'm going to have a great celebration!
Hang in there! You may be amazed at what doors may open.

Colette said...

It will be okay. Really it will. Think of it as an adventure.

Lydia K said...

It's all a good thing, if you look at it from a positive perspective!

Brenda Susan said...

I love your blog. Haven't commented much due to hurrying through the blog reading and getting back to a pursuit of writing for $$.
But today, your mention of the empty nest prompts me to assure you that yes, it will be hard to say good-bye, but the return visits of an an adult are so wonderful! I really love having my grown sons here for visits and meals. I also really love the empty nest, so it's win-win!