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Friday, November 22, 2013

The Road I'm on



Robin of Your Daily Dose reminded here recently, that my blog posts have dwindled in quantity.  I’ve struggled with the emotion surrounding that truth and guilt hovers. This is not my swan song.  Maybe it's an apology of sorts, although it feels funny to apologize for traveling a path I want to follow. How about this.  Let's call it an explanation.

I found myself as a writer through Middle Passages.  People who know me will tell you on the outside, I handled the trauma of wrenching unemployment well.  Writing here helped me make peace with the feeling that I’d spent twenty-three years doing the wrong thing only to get tossed aside over the course of one afternoon.  In one hour—out the next.  But inside, I was a jellyfish of “Holy crap” and “What do I do now?”  There is no way I would have managed through it hadn’t spent every morning writing my brains out. 
 
In the midst of that cluster…transition, blogging saved me.  Back then, Middle Passages was my writing.  Oh how I loved hitting “publish” and seeing my words up there, for anyone to read.  Later, blogging led me to other bloggers, who, in turn, led me to toy with fiction.  I wrote flash fiction.  Then I took a what-the-heck whack at a first novel.  Later, it led to freelance writing projects and one of those projects led to the position I currently hold.  And after almost five years of writing nearly every day, I know one truth.  While a job helps provide for my family, writing saves my life. 

When I started Middle Passages, I announced my goal to learn to “use words to their maximum potential.”  I’d rephrase that now. The goal is to reach my maximum potential as a writer.  These days, I write a newsletter for work, provide updates for the local newspaper, catch a freelance magazine article now and again.  And I write for my Grub Street class where I focus on a third novel hoping maybe this one will crack it.  That this will be the one. 
   
With all that, I’m sorry to say, I struggle to find good subject matter for Middle Passages.  I hold myself to a high standard.  I want my posts to hold depth and meaning. I may take up space with photographs, but make no mistake.  This blog has always been about serious writing for me.

So, if you don't see new posts here, please assume I am off somewhere, seriously writing. 

And Robin, dear.  Thank you.

11 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Writing here about you and what you are doing does have meaning for those of us who have followed you for so long. Maybe this just means your blog is taking on a new focus now.

mshatch said...

I completely understand where you're coming from. After blogging for 4 years it is sometimes hard to come up with a meaningful post, keep up with all those I enjoy following, AND write. Nice to see you :)

Liz Blocker said...

I really understand the feeling of wanting to make sure that all of your posts have depth and meaning. It's admirable. I only post once a week in the hopes of achieving that, but sometimes (often?) I don't manage it.

Robin said...

Blogs can and do change. Why? Because people change. You are not the same woman who started this blog five years ago. For those of us who have reading for a long time, we became interested in not just your writing, but YOU.

One of my favorite blogs you wrote was about lying in the sun in your driveway and scaring a neighbor that drove by. It may not have been "classy/writer" content, but it was real. Sometimes it's just nice to hear YOUR voice with whatever is going on in YOUR world.

You are dear to me, too!

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I have missed seeing you here and I miss your pictures. But I'm so happy for you that writing 'found' you or you found it.

~Sia McKye~ said...

Your focus has changed and I understand that. Blogging is a way to keep writing but it's also a means to an end and that is being involved in the writing of fiction. I struggle with that too. It's hard to work, meet your family obligations and still carve out time to actually write the stories that are inside.

Sia McKye Over Coffee

Yvonne Osborne said...

A blog that is serious about the writing is a blog I want to read. I feel the same, the writing, wherever it takes you, comes first. Hope to still see you around on occasion. Good luck!

Leandra Wallace said...

Definitely just post when you wish to- we'll all still be here! And blogging for five years is quite an accomplishment! I'm just a newbie at blogging, and man, I don't know what I'd say after five years! =)

Words A Day said...

Glad to hear you're writing and living and that this blog has served its purpose :) Its great news, best of luck and will drop in every now and again, the more I write the less I blog, maybe blogging itself is also in a stage of transition, all the best x

Anne Gallagher said...

This is your blog and you can certainly write about whatever you want. Serious or not. I think that's why I've stuck with blogging just as long as you. It's a medium I can utilize.

And you don't need to post to a schedule. We know where to find you.

'Yellow Rose' Jasmine said...

Always interested in whatever you may choose to post. However, I would never want to force the issue. Enjoy what works for you!