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Tuesday, February 9, 2010

And the Answers are:

For those with a burning desire to know the results of yesterday’s “How Well I Lie About Myself” game, the answer is "Not very." The list contained one complete truth and one total lie, all the rest were blends as follows:

I completed a reverse dive with 2 1/2 somersaults from the three-meter board (aka: the high dive) for the first time ever during a college diving meet and lived to tell the tale.

False with bravado: The dive I completed from a three meter board for the first time during meet was a reverse dive, layout position; there were no somersaults involved--what do you think I am, crazy?

College rules changed at the beginning of senior year forcing me to learn all dives from three-times the height I had been springing off of since the age of eight--otherwise the team would forfeit the event. Let’s simply say that 21 years of living had granted me the the wisdom to question plunging from such a height, and I delayed learning that particular dive until my back was up against a wall. Option one: jump off the board and receive a score of 0. Option two: slink, humiliated, down the ladder in front of a packed crowd and receive a score of 0. Option three: Wing it and pray. Which I did, after standing there for a looooong time. I remember being in mid-air, staring at the tiled ceiling in order to control my plummet, chanting: "Oh God, oh God, oh God."

I used to die my hair different colors, including pink.

If you knew me you’d know how false this is: I used to mix the shades of brown, but pink never came out of the bottle. Hmmm, perhaps a little pink in my life would be a good thing,

I once stole apples from an orchard in Tasmania.

False with kudos to Connie: The word collusion might work here, but my sister is the hero of the apple saga. We had money enough to sleep in the youth hostel or to eat, but not enough for both, having failed to plan for a national holiday that closed the banks over a long weekend (prior to ATM's). She had the nerve to slip the apples up her sleeves, while I played coward, um, I mean look-out. We supplemented the fruit with one pack of Ramen noodles between us over a 24-hour period.

Prior to a first date, my paramour spilled battery acid on his pants. They disintegrated while we watched the movie.

True, true, true: Thank you for thinking I could make up this story. It involves a failing car battery, removal of a battery from a different vehicle, and a snow bank. Oh, and one long and awkward embrace on our way out of the movie theatre so no one could see the serious deficit situated at the front of his corduroys.

Believe it or not, we went out again.

I have lived in twelve different states.

Bald-faced lie: If you count college, and the two summers I lived with my friend, then I’ve lived in three. But the real answer is that I’ve lived here in Massachusetts my entire life.

Conan O’Brien is my first-cousin-once-removed.

False on a technicality: Conan’s father is my first-cousin-once-removed. Conan is my second cousin. I’ve met his parents; I’ve never met the man himself.

Thank you again to Helen at Straight from Hel for honoring me with the "Creative Writer" Blogger Award.


Carolina M. Valdez Schneider said...

Ha! I was close with the dive, then. Sort of....

Too funny, Liza. Great pot. I say you have a brilliant future in fiction ;)

Jon Paul said...

That is so funny--and fun! I thought the battery acid story was particularly compelling. I think perhaps I am suffering from sympathetic embarrassment or something.

Thanks for sharing!

Elana Johnson said...

What a great blog post! I can't believe you went out with him again! LOL!

J.B. Chicoine said...

Okay, I thought he spilled battery acid on his parents! If I had read it correctly the first time around, I so would have guess that was the truth!

glnroz said...

dad gum it.. that was a fun post. the last couple of days have been hectic. see what I miss when I aint paying attention.

Helen Ginger said...

I can see that I did right in giving the award to you. You are a sneaky liar!

Straight From Hel

Sarah Wylie said...

LOL! Oops. I was so sure it was the Conan one! Loved this! :)

Anonymous said...

Ha! That's great. Give Conan my regards if you see him, eh? :)