Managing - IWSG May 2025

 

Welcome to IWSG Day. The goal of this blog hop is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a haven for insecure writers of all kinds. IWSG is the brainchild of our ninja leader Alex Cavanaugh. Thank you to May co-hosts:  Feather Stone, Janet Alcorn, Rebecca Douglass, Jemima Pett, and Pat Garcia!  For a list and links to all contributors, click here.

This month’s optional question: Some common fears writers share are rejection, failure, success, and lack of talent or ability. What are your greatest fears as a writer? How do you manage them?

My fears? Easy peasy. All of the above. How do I manage them? Well, that question provides some muddy grounds for introspection…

Remember how Dorie from Finding Nemo use to say “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming?”

That’s me, I guess. A long time ago an acquaintance, a published author of fiction and non-fiction, said to me, “As long as you never give up, you’ll get there.”

I keep that advice front and forward, but sometimes a little voice inside me suggests it’s time to call the game on account of darkness. It’s time to hang up my typing fingers as it were. But then I think of the hours I’ve put in, and more importantly, of how much joy the writing has brought. It would be awful to let it all come to nothing. Besides, if I let myself drift away from my writing, I have zero doubt that eventually it will call me back. It’s a kind of addiction. The craving to write always lurks.

At the current time I’m probably in a writing lull, but it’s OK. Fulfilling a promise to myself, upon retirement I started working on the lessons from Walking in this World, by Julia Cameron. That means as soon as I wake up, I’m writing “Morning Pages,” three pages longhand. It’s a brain dump. Letting whatever is on my mind out. It’s not writing that will ever be published, but it’s writing. So if on a given day, I miss sitting down to work on something that’s theoretically publishable, at least I’ve written something. I’ve kept the neurons firing.

Sometimes I post things on IWSG to hold myself accountable. So here’s a confession. I have (very) slowly begun a list to where I want to query my current novel. It’s slow because Julia Cameron requires that I walk. I’m also having fun working in the garden and getting things done at my own pace. It's beyond marvelous not to have to cram all the “to do’s” into one weekend. Quite frankly, I plan to  luxuriate in it for a bit.

But in spite of how much I’m enjoying myself, let’s be truthful here. You would be correct to call these lovely distractions procrastination. File them under “Fear of failure.”

What are your writing fears and how do you address them?

In Love Again

Those of you who have been with me for a while may recall I spent twelve weeks a few years ago  completing the lessons from THE ARTIST'S WAY, a Spiritual Path to Creativity, by Julia Cameron.  Whether you buy into the word spiritual or not, the book is chock full of suggestions and methods through which to open yourself up to the inspiration locked inside.  Without Julia, I’m not sure I would be anywhere near to putting the final touches on my second novel. 

While working through the readings and assignments, participants are requested to complete what the author calls Morning Pages—three long-hand pages written as soon as you wake each day.  There is no requirement on subject matter, punctuation or editing.  It’s likely you may never read them again (although she does require it partway through the twelve lessons and I found some jarring insight). Essentially, Morning Pages are a brain dump to help clear out the excess garbage, allowing you to start the day fresh and clean.

This autumn, I felt things slowing down for me.  Perhaps you’ve noticed my lack of presence here on Middle Passages.  I’ve been writing, but I’m getting close to finishing my second book and struggling with the story at the beginning of a third.  I tussled with a query letter, giving too much credence to that nasty little voice asking, “What’s the use?” and I became a little afraid all my industry was going to grind to a halt.   In truth, it was time to dare myself to move forward.  In that vein, I purchased another Julia Campbell tutorial:  WALKING IN THIS WORLD, the Practical art of Creativity though I confess. I have yet to make it through the first chapter.  But Morning Pages are a part of this program too, and I’m a week into them.

 

Last time, I cheated.  My daughter was still in high school and I was already rising at 5:30.  Rather than forcing myself up earlier, I got up, showered, made her lunch, ate my own breakfast and then sat down with my pen.  This time, I’m following the guidelines.  As soon as I wake up, I turn on the light, stick one of my husband’s extra pillows on my lap as a desk (he leaves for work very early) and reach for my notebook. 

 

Each time I’ve completed my pages, I’ve felt a sense of peace upon getting up from the bed, as if I've already realized my primary goal of the day.  Even if the “real” writing I’m supposed to do goes poorly, or not at all, or if I struggle during the hours I spend at my paying work, I look back over the river of time and know in those predawn hours, words streamed out.  A purple notebook filling with blue flowing script bears witness. I’ve completed twenty-one pages so far. 

It is as though, while completing this morning ritual I pare down to my elemental self.  There's no story being told, no ark, no layering, no characters to flesh out, no conflict, no resolution, no audience.  It's just me, a lined notebook, a ballpoint pen and a growing reminder of the joy that abounds whenever words pour onto the page.

On the Bright Side

Wow! I have been negligent in posting the Happy Award that Tamika gave me several days ago, into my sidebar and now I have been honored again by Tabitha at Through my Eyes. I'm reluctant to bore you though, so if you are interested, here is my "Ten things that make me happy" post. I’ll add to last week's list, this online world, where people are so kind and encouraging and helpful. I’m grateful to you all!



Gosh though, it’s funny to receive this award today. I am not supposed to look at what I write in my Morning Pages exercises, and for the most part, have not. But, today the following surfaced, as I wrote: “So often we spend life doing what we think we should do, and fail to realize that we’ve buried what we must do. Then for some reason, the status quo changes and the ‘must do’s’ revolt and shoulder aside the clutter. As a result, life opens up, grows bigger, like a multi-colored piñata stuffed with surprise gifts, instead of sheer white curtains wafting by an open window. Time becomes less about minutes to live through, and more about moments to discover.”

Perhaps this sounds naive and trite, but as I wrote it I was thinking of the job I had up until last year--how I methodically plodded through my days, scheduled and routine, marching through life but missing it, stuck between a good pay-check and what I thought was a too-hard place. Then a shovel arrived, disguised as a pink slip, and I’ve emerged, digging myself out as if after a fierce snowstorm, brushing off my sleeves, unwinding the cotton strips that entombed my mummified spirit.

There are anxious moments each day to be sure. But here’s the thing. Every morning (once I get over the fact that it is still dark out), I rise engaged and motivated, with things on the agenda to look forward to. That drag-myself-out-of-bed-moaning, “Ugh, I have to go to that place again” feeling no longer descends. The room may be black but the gloom has dissipated, slipping like the cold through the leaks in our aging windows. Anxiety and fear still surface, but they are rocks that I kick as I walk along the road, flat stones I throw side-armed as I skip them into a calm teal sea.

I'm knocking on wood as I write this and searching for my rabbit's foot. I'll cross myself a few times just to make sure. After tossing some spilled salt over my shoulder though--I'll say this: Yup, I'm pretty sure this is what happy feels like.

The Happy 101 awards simply reflect it.